Big changes on the homefront

Around 9 or 10 months ago I invited my younger sister Catherine to come join me in Costa Rica to study Spanish.  I thought, “Hey I’ve got an extra bedroom at my place and she is dying to leave Charleston…this will be great.”  She was excited about it from the moment I invited her.  Progress towards this time together pretty much halted at her excitement since she didn’t do anything to try and make it a reality.  After a couple of months I pretty much figured it would never happen.  She came to visit in November, just tospend a week in Costa Rica, and I realized that I had dodged a bullet.  What was I thinking?  I lived with Catherine for 18 years.  She is not easy to deal with.  One week together gave me a great glimpse at my childhood (not the fun happy parts though).

So I start to think that I’m in the clear until about 3 weeks ago.  That is, until my dad emails me.  The subject line says, “Catherine’s itinerary”  and the only thing in the message are her flight times. I’m thinking, “Ok, so I guess she’s coming…thanks for the heads up.”  She got here about 1.5 weeks ago and has already started classes.  Even though I was somewhat reluctant, it has been great so far and I’m excited to spend this time with my sister.  She is a sweet wonderful person and it’s pretty amazing to have an opportunity like this. We leave Sunday to go to Panama (I’m currently an illegal alien so I need to leave so that I can renew my 3 month tourist Visa)…I’ll try to post some pictures when we get back.

Catherine and me

just added

the latest newsletter to the newsletter section…booyah

Faith of a child

I wanted to share a little bit of my thoughts from this morning.  I was reading in Mark about the woman who had been bleeding for years.  She thought to herself that she could be healed if she could just touch the robe of Jesus.  I can remember hearing that story as a kid and thinking about how amazing and powerful Jesus must be that even his clothes would heal people. In my “maturity” and after being more “educated” or whatever about the Bible or whatever I can now see that it was, as the good book says, by her faith that she was healed.  Jesus told her that her faith had healed her (in other words, it wasn’t that his robe was magical or something….that’s what I thought when I was younger).

As I reflected on my current ability for logic and greater understanding of the Bible, I realized that there is something beautiful about my childhood perception.  Now I think to myself, “If I could only have faith like that.”  When I was a kid I DID have faith like that.  Perhaps I didn’t quite understand the passage completely, but I did believe that Jesus was so powerful that his very clothes could bring healing and transformation into my life.

So what can I take from this reflection?  I think it is a call to greater humility.  Being involved in careful examination and study of the Bible is a great thing, until I start to think that I am better than others, or even that I’m better than I used to be.  It’s not about being better, it’s just about being with Christ.  My hope is that my time reading the Word creates a greater intimacy with Christ.  I hope that I am made more aware of my need for Christ.  I hope that I can see how much my faith has diminished from what I had as a child even though I may have grown in theological understanding.  I hope to believe that I can be changed and transformed in ways I have never imagined just by being in the presence of God, if only for a brief moment of prayer.

That's me as a little kid...I know...adorable

Thanks for reading.  I hope I can bring some sort of encouragement to your life and that you have a wonderful day.

Um, yeah

So I have been slightly MIA on the ole’ blog.  My apologies for being slack.

I’m about to leave the office to head for Wyldlife club and I felt compelled to hop on here really quick and just write a couple of things.  Nothing specific, I just thought to myself, “Hey, you haven’t written in  your blog in a while…you better get on it.”

I will say that I had a kind of fun dream last night.  I was with some Costa Rican YL staff people and they were taking me to go rob this vault thing.  It was pretty weird, but we were successful.  I enjoyed the thrill so much that I decided to go back and try to do it again even though I knew there would be nothing in it and I got caught by a security guard as I was leaving the building.  I woke up as he was cuffing me.

I am currently finishing a couple of stories for my next newsletter that I hope to send out on Monday or Tuesday, so you can be on the lookout for that.  I will post it on here as well if you aren’t on my mailing list.

Well, thanks for reading, I hope that I can give you something more substantial soon.  Have a wonderful weekend and Valentine’s Day…I’m not a fan of the holiday, but I am a big fan of love, so I guess my hope is that you can be with friends, family or any loved one(s) in your life and rejoice in those people that show us glimpses of God’s great love for us.

XOXO,

john

If this bed’s a rockin’…

…then there’s probably an earthquake.  Oh yes last night I was dreaming that I was stumbling all over the place and then awoke to find find bed was rocking pretty crazily…it lasted for a good 20 seconds.  I enjoyed it while it lasted and then realized that you probably shouldn’t just lie in bed during an earthquake.   It was exciting for me though.

Check out the article: http://www.nacion.com/ln_ee/2008/noviembre/19/sucesos1781514.html (sorry if you don’t read español)

PTL

I saw the sun for the first time in like 27 days…it was glorious.  True, I was sweating a bit by the time I got to my bus stop, but it was well worth it to bask in the rays.

By the way, I just added my latest newsletter to the newsletter section…check it out if you haven’t already seen it.

Let me know if you know anybody that might be interested in hearing more about YL Costa Rica, me, and how to support.

Thanks,

john

Let me clarify

In response to a recent posting entitled “As good as it gets” I would like to clarify what I was trying to say at the core.  I think that a life lived in relationship with God is as good as gets, and it is absolutely amazing… better than anyone could ever hope for or imagine  Please excuse me for not being clear, it’s hard to express yourself through typing something sometimes, especially because I try to be conscience of the length and keep things short and sweet.  Anyway, despite things being hard, I am loving life.  I am excited to see what God has for me each new day and try to live in way that brings the honor due His name.  Thanks for reading.  I hope that you are having a great little day!

Have you seen…

…Little Miss Sunshine? Well, yes or no, there’s this part (this is not a spoiler) where their car starts honking randomly due to a horn malfunction as the family is driving on the interstate…it’s pretty funny. Anyway, my car, Large Marge (or Gravedigger, as named by some of the seniors at the Lincoln School), has developed the same malfunction. For about the past two weeks my horn has randomly started honking. It might be a loud, full blown, get-out-of-my-way honk or a series of smaller, short beeps, but it might go off at any moment. The worst of it is that I am so used to hearing car horns honk at me that I usually don’t realize that it’s my car until it’s been going off for several moments.

It has created some moments of uncomfortable awkwardness and probably enraged multiple Costa Ricans, but lots of hilarity for my passengers and me.

As good as it gets

The title given is meant to be taken in the most positive of lights. You know what?  Before I get into this posting let me offer a brief preface: My time in Costa Rica has been one of spiritual turbulence, that is, I had no idea what I really getting myself into, no idea.  I daily face a sense of not knowing what is going on….mind you, this could be a product of language/cultural barriers or of just really not knowing how to deal with various aspects of life and work.  I have been upset with God, I have been friggin ticked off at Him, I have felt grateful, I have felt helpless, I have felt hopeless, I have felt jubilant, I have been expectant, I have been confused, I have been excited, I have been overjoyed, I have been hurt, I have felt lonely, I have felt embraced, I have felt a wide range of emotions, many of which I can’t even articulate because there are times when I seem to feel a million things at once.  Like I said, spiritual turbulence…it hasn’t been a smooth ride.

Ok, that was the preface, it went on for longer than I thought it would.  Sorry.  Anyway, I was thinking about writing something this morning and it didn’t sound anything like this, but I can’t remember what it was exactly, so you’re stuck with whatever comes now….one of the problems with living outside of the internet provision range in rural Costa Rica I suppose (I realize that I could have written something on my computer and saved it until now, but I didn’t feel like writing it then, so back off). I am not sure why I want to write this on my blog, I think part of it is wanting to hear myself speak (or type), but I think (or at least I hope) that the other part of it is that I want to let my friends and family know how things are going with me on a more internal level, or something like that.

This morning I was trying to pray.  I was thinking about the advice of countless Christian authors and leaders from the past and present to pursue silence and try to listen.  I was thinking about how prayer is supposed to be a conversation and that my prayer time rarely is.  I like to talk to God about the worries of my days and about what I think He should be doing in my life and heart, but I struggle to just be present with Him.  I know that sounds weird, but I think that I get so caught up in speaking to God that I’m concentrating more on what I’m going to say than on looking at him; you know, like when you’re talking to someone, but you are so distracted by your surroundings and your own thoughts that you can’t even look at them while you’re talking.  Anyway, I was thinking about all of that and I started trying to just quiet my heart and mind before God.  Various preoccupations and concerns kept trying to creep their way into my head, but, by the grace of God, I was able to get a few moments of silence before Him.  As I tried to speak my heart I felt like He was saying, “Just be calm my son I have something to say to you.”  I struggled against the silence, but He is patient.  Finally I was quiet (of heart and mind) and I sensed a simple message, “John, I love you.”  I start to think, “Is that it? C’mon God, I know already know that. I need advice and help in all these places.  I know that I need you in this and in that. I’m screwing up here and there, and I need this and, etc.”  I felt like I was kind interrupted by a still small voice that was telling me to just be silent a little longer, that I God wanted me to just be there, not even to listen, but just to be present.  So I tried to keep my own voice quiet for a little bit.  After a few moments, I just felt like God wanted me to let the cares of my day dissipate and fall by the wayside. Like he wanted me to simply look at him, to see his perfection, His glory and be comforted by his loving embrace.  And I was.

This is one of those days that I can say, “My life is not turning what I thought it would be.  Living and working in Costa Rica is not what I thought it would be.  I am not sure what God is teaching me right now, and I’m not sure what is in store for me in the future.  Despite all these factors, I realized that God deeply loves me and cares for me.   Sensing His love, sensing his presence is as good as it gets, and it is more than a million times better than I could have hoped or imagined.”  May I keep the eyes of heart focussed on Him every moment of everyday. May I seek to be aware of His presence that envelops me at all times.  May I let His love permeate all of my being.

Thanks God.

Need to vent…

…ok, so the infrastructure in San Jose is not at the level it needs to be for the amount of cars that are regularly circulating.  In order to help control the flow of traffic the municipality, in all of their wisdom, decided a while back that the would limit access to the roads downtown.  If your license tag ends with a 1 or 2 you can’t drive on mondays….3 or 4 tuesdays….etc  9 and 0 on fridays…it used to be only downtown.  Not a problem, I avoided downtown at all costs anyway.  A couple of months ago they decide that the rule should also include the major vein that circumvents downtown (ie the road you use if you don’t want to go downtown)…meaning you have to use various back way going thru individual communities to get from one part of the city to another…also they are enforcing it hardcore right now (cops are everywhere giving people tickets for driving on their designated day….fine if you know the thousands of poorly planned roads around the city…not so great if you don’t (like me).  To make things even better, my tag ends with a zero…meaning I can’t drive around easily on fridays…the day that we have club…the day i usually need to run around, give people rides to club, and do general errands….awesome.  Last friday was our first club.  I was driving to the office in the morning and since Sunday was independence day here there were parades on friday….the parades use the back roads thru the individual communities b/c each community has its own parade…closing all the roads that I need to take.  My time to drive to the office more than doubled.  So, how can you change your license tag?  Oh, you can’t.  Once a car gets a tag it is stuck with that tag until it is destroyed.  If you want a different day you have to buy a new car…friggin awesome.  To add to my frustration, our office has two vans (both end in 9 or 0) mine ends in 0 and my bosses minivan ends with a 9….no big cars on friday….about 80% of young life and vida joven events take place on fridays….thanks transit authority, thanks.